UE: University of Etruria
by BMKuro
Summary: AU. Ephidel's part of the mafia, Raven's in a gang, Erk and Ewan are pyromaniacs, L'Arachel is a nun wannabe, Heath is a DJ...the list goes on. Please R&R! Rating is for violence and language...and...some perversion. And there are government conspiracies!
1. End of the School Year: Chaos time

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own FE and whatever 

Gang wars, conspiracies, and the mafia, oh my.

The school system here is a bit different; there are only 4 grades in high school; grades 9,10,11, and 12, referred to in this order: Freshman, Junior, Sophomore, and Senior.

**UNIVERSITY OF ETRURIA**

**Chapter 1: End of the School Year. Let the Chaos Begin.**

* * *

"...I got in?" Hector asked the paper he held in front of him, somehow expecting it to reply, and looked around at his circle of friends. "**I GOT FRIKKIN' IN! BOOYA!**" He punched his arms into the air to show his happiness, accidentally knocking his best friend in the jaw. 

"OW! Chill out, man," Eliwood rubbed his sore jaw, and made a mental note NOT to sit so close to Hector. "That's great then; we all got in!" Eliwood looked happily at his group of friends; Hector, Lyn, Ephraim, Eirika, Innes, Tana, L'Arachel, Joshua, and Lyon. "Well, what say we hit the local pub tonight, boys and girls?"

"...Drinks again? Hangovers aren't exactly my cup of tea..." Lyon said meekly. He was always the quietest; he had this heart disease that will kill him if his heart rate goes too high. "...And...Well, I'm broke. I spent all my money on buying souvenirs and gifts; I'm going back to Grado early in August to visit my parents."

"What say I lend you a few bucks, then we go to the casino tomorrow, eh? You can return the money you win to me; you seem to be really good at poker," Joshua said.

"...Thanks, but I think I'll pass, since I don't like owing people anything."

"But...**BUT**...but the money..."

"**No**."

"(sighs)...Fine," Joshua huffed.

"Gambling again? You know I disapprove of it," L'Arachel began. When she starts to ramble on about things that are 'sinful', 'wrong', etc, etc, she can go on for hours. A truly religious person. Nobody knows how people can stand her; she's almost as bad as Serra, but almost worse in the fact that she preaches to you. In Serra's case, she bitches, and uses her religious background as an excuse. So you won't feel guilty if you hit or curse at her. But you will when you do so at the green haired girl.

"Spare us the speech, **PLEASE**," Hector interrupted. "We've heard this since the beginning of grade 10, when you moved here. Every day."

"Well, obviously, I haven't done it enough if you still think of drinking and gambling." L'Arachel said, and started rambling on to Joshua, who hid his face under his cool hat as his friends glared at him for making L'Arachel start. (Gotta love that hat)

"OKAY OKAY! We get it, we get it; we won't go drinking or gambling, all right?" Ephraim told her impatiently. L'Arachel smiled innocently.

"Well, since we're not doing that, why don't you guys sleep over at my place tonight?" Hector offered.

"Great idea!" everyone agreed, and decided that's what they would do.

"Just one thing; don't go near Matthew, he's prone to having emotional breakdowns now. His girlfriend just got ran over by someone," Hector said sadly. (a cookie for who figurs out who ran over Leila) "Poor guy. Leila was a good person; too bad she's gone." Matthew was one of Hector's butlers; Hector is in a rich family as his MUCH older brother is head of the state of Ostia.

"Right, right. Is...Serra...still staying there?" Innes asked in fear of the pink-haired devil.

"Oh gods, I was hoping you wouldn't ask. Yes, unfortunately. Goddamned Uther had to be such a nice-ass to let her stay at my house since she's too old for the orphanage.** IT HAS BEEN ABSOLUTE HELL FOR ME!**" Hector yelled in fury, and shuddered in fear at even thinking of the crazy girl. "However, some of her friends are going to visit, so she'll bother them instead of us. Actually, I'm planning on having a huge party and sleepover, so why don't you guys bring your other friends along."

After that, the group split.

* * *

**Government Building, Reglay, Etruria:**

"Sir! Your mother's on line 1!"

"Sir! Your lunch has been rescheduled to 7 in the evening due to an important meeting with Lord Darin!"

"Sir! Lady Louise said she's going out for a ladies' night out tonight, so you'll have to cook your own dinner!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Pent yelled in frustration. Everyone else looked at him, surprised, and stopped working. Pent finally calmed down, and panted. "What are you looking at? Get back to work!"

It has been a busy day, and more so than usual for the young and unfortunate head of the state of Etruria, Pent. He was planning on taking a summer vacation for a few days, BUT, the president of Elibe, Lord Vlad. 'Lucky Vlad, HE gets to sit there and do nothing but sleep or smoke cigars while sitting in his super comfy chair at the White House, while his governors have to do all the work for him. Bastard,' Pent thought. '(sighs)...And Erk's coming back in a few weeks to prepare for college...that boy's really grown up.'

Erk's the adopted son of Pent and Louise. Erk lost his parents a while back when he was only 10, so Pent and Louise took him in because of pity. Erk turned out to be an outstanding student, and is really great in politics (uh oh). He's quite the smartass, unlike Pent. He got the trait from Pent's father, who visited often. The young purple haired boy excelled in his studies thanks to Pent's tutoring.

"Sir! Lord Darin wants to talk to you!"

'What does he want now...' Pent sighed inwardly, and picked up the phone. "Hello Darin."

"Hello, Pent," Darin said from the other end of the phone. "Listen, I'm going to make this quick. I'm sure you've heard of my plan from the other governors."

"(sigh)...Look Darin, I'm not interested in this 'conspiracy' of yours. Why don't you take it and shove it up your ass," Pent said angrily, refusing Darin's offer for the 3rd time, and slammed the phone down.

* * *

**Government Building, Laus, Lycia:**

"So he's refused again?" a man asked Darin from behind his desk. "A shame, really."

"I know, Ephidel," Darin shook his head sadly. "We could have used his influence over Etruria's lawyers."

"Well, it will not be too much of a problem. Big Boss has everything under control," Ephidel said. He took out a silencer from his pocket and played around with it, and aimed it at the person sitting tied up in front of Darin. "Now, Aesha. I have to apologize for this, but the new Big Boss doesn't allow failure. But I don't do things like this, it's not my job. So...Legault, would you do the honors?" Ephidel handed his gun to a lanky lavender haired man with a scarred face, obviously from the same gang.

"..." the lanky man accepted the gun, and aimed it at Aesha's head. "...I'm sorry." Legault struggled to pull the trigger; he worked for so long with the beautiful woman sitting tied up in front of him, and now he has to kill her because she lost one small packet of marijuana in the last transfer. "...Please forgive me," he said, and fired a shot.

"Someone clean up this mess!"

* * *

**Now, back to Elisium high, Etruria:**

"And Hector's holding a giant party at his crib tonight," Eliwood told another group of friends. This one included Ninian, a fellow senior, Nils, her freshman brother, and Lowen, another senior. "You guys coming?"

"Of course!" Ninian answered for the other 2.

"Great! So...uh...I'll pick you up at 7?"

"...All right!"

Ninian and Nils lived next door to Eliwood. Eliwood lived together with Ephraim and Eirika; they had rented a house near the school as to not get in their parents' ways. Lord Elbert and Lord Fado are both very important political figures, as are their mothers. Eliwood had a crush on Ninian since their freshman year at Elisium high, but never did anything about it. He heard she also got accepted to the UE, and was ecstatic when he found out.

Lowen was the goalie of the senior boys' soccer team at the school. Eliwood's the team captain, and Lowen joined under the redhead's long hours of begging. Lowen finally succumbed when he couldn't take any more from Eliwood. Lowen had his green hair cover his eyes; it's unbelievable that he could move without crashing into anyone, let alone catch a ball flying towards a goal at 100 km/h.

* * *

**Gymnasium: Last meeting of Martial Arts club:**

"HIYAH!" Lyn yelled as she threw Joshua out of the ring.

"My hat!" Joshua quickly grabbed his hat off of his head and covered it as he rolled to recover from the throw. "Careful, Lyn, this one cost me a fortune!" Joshua told her angrily. Lyn just laughed at him.

"You know, you should really try to win once in a while, instead of always holding onto that hat. It's a sexy hat, but you don't need to act like Gollum with it."

"Did the scary lady hurt you, precious?" Joshua asked his hat, and everybody in the club that's there sweatdropped. "Don't worry, daddy's here with you...yesss, my preciousss..."

"This is exactly my point," Lyn sighed. She then went to the changing room to change back from her gym clothes to normal clothes.

"...so yeah, we're having this party tonight at Hector's," Joshua told Karla and Marisa, two other senior girls who are Lyn's friends, and Guy, another senior.

Outside, Lyn met up with her friends from Caelin: Sain, the lecherous blonde; Florina, the shyest girl in the school and Lyn's best friend, and just finished her junior year; and Kent, the strict one. "So do you guys want to come to Hector's party?"

"H...He...Hector?" Florina spoke up quietly. "Um...Hector...the big and scary Hector?"

"Hehe...yeah, the big and scary one," Lyn replied while laughing. "Come on, Florina, he's not that bad once you get to know him."

"But...but...I think he's still mad at me after the incident with Huey!" Florina told her what she thought. A few weeks ago, while Florina's, her sister Farina's, and Hector's gym classes went on a riding trip to the Pegasus farm, Huey, Florina's Pegasus, kicked Hector as the blue haired boy was walking behind him. The winged horse's kick broke a few of Hector's ribs, but it didn't get away that easily as Hector got up angrily after that and started to bite the Pegasus's neck in rage while pulling at Huey's mane. Florina and the stable hand had to pull the big lug away from Huey so he won't eat the Pegasus alive.

"Don't worry about it, Hector's not one to hold grudges for any time longer than a day. You'll be surprised at how short term his memory is," Lyn told her friend.

* * *

**The Basketball Court:**

"...and the score now is 98 to 98," Ephraim panted heavily. He was having a one on one game with Innes. The two have been rivals since they met in their freshman year at the high school; Innes is the captain of the basketball team, but only because he had better leadership skills than Ephraim, who takes way too many risks and prefers to work alone or with only a few people. "Your ball, Innes, make it count."

"Good luck, friend," Innes panted back, and started dribbling. He then dashed towards the hoop, dribbled the ball under his legs to avoid an attempted steal by Ephraim. He then spun around Ephraim as the green haired youth recovered from his lunging steal. Innes smirked, and tossed the ball at the hoop...and missed. Ephraim got the rebound. "Hmph. I was tired," was Innes's excuse. "Your ball."

"Hm," Ephraim nodded, wiping sweat off his face. He then stepped back and took a 3-pointer shot...and it went in. "Sweet. So that's...153 wins and 153 losses for me. We're tied."

"This ain't over yet, and you know it," Innes replied, wiping his sweat off with a towel. The rivals exited the courts to meet their sisters, who were waiting for them outside.

"Who won?" Tana asked them.

"Close match, but **I** won," Ephraim said proudly. "So, let's go tell our friends about the party."

"Mm. I'll go to the magic club, they're still having their last meeting now," Tana said.

"I'll go to the religion club; they're still having a meeting too," Eirika said. "You two go meet up with Eliwood. He told us to meet by the flagpole. He said he found something, though I'm not sure what."

* * *

**The magic club:**

The magic club was founded by a gifted magic user. A few years back, he wanted to help others that took magic improve their skills and become more interested in the field. Smart and gifted people like Lute were invited to join the club to help tutor the freshmen and other people weak at magic. Erk was the one that founded the club during his freshman year.

Ewan, Lute, and Nino were reading some new books in the art of magic. Erk was sitting around fiddling with his lighter. Erk and Lute were the only 2 seniors there, Nino and Ewan were juniors. Erk and Lute were the ones that had to take care of the two younger magicians during their freshman year because they couldn't handle anima magic properly without help; freshmen usually lacked concentration.

"So...so, you're leaving this year, Onii-san?" Nino asked Erk. They weren't actual siblings; Erk was like the older brother the green-haired orphan girl never had.

"Yeah... I'm gonna miss you two," the purple haired boy told Ewan and Nino. "Be good, all right? We taught you everything we know; use that to help others."

"Dang, Erk. I had fun burning stuff up with you," Ewan told the older mage.

"That's not good. Your sister was bitching at me for turning you into a pyro," Erk laughed at the younger boy's comment. "Tethys is SCARY when she's mad, you know?"

Ewan laughed. Tethys is Ewan's older brother; she's attending 2nd year university now.

"Well, it's been fun. Remember to call or e-mail us, all right?" Lute asked Ewan and Nino, who nodded eagerly. "All right, Erk, let's go."

Tana was outside waiting for them. "Lute! Erk! Hector's having a party at his house tonight! You guys wanna come?" she asked the two purple haired seniors.

"...Will there be alcohol?" Erk asked eagerly.

"...Um...We'll have to hide it downstairs, I guess, away from L'Arachel..."

"Sweet. I am SO in. Molotov Cocktails, here I come!" Erk hooted, and ran towards the religious club to meet up with his friends Lucius, Raymond, and Priscilla.

"...Boys and their explosives," Lute said, shaking her head.

* * *

**The religious club:**

Erk found Eirika, Amelia, a junior, her boyfriend Franz, who is another junior, and Ross, a sophomore. "So...Serra and Priscilla having another heated argument?" Erk asked the group.

"You bet...Ugh...I can't take it anymore!" Eirika said, frustrated. "I'm gonna go inside and..."

"NO!" Amelia stopped her. "You don't know what hells L'Arachel will inflict upon you!" Amelia pleaded.

There are screams coming from inside. "...Catfight!" Ross yelled, and he and Erk bolted through Eirika and Amelia while busting through the door. And Ross was right. L'Arachel, Serra, and Priscilla were pulling at each others' hair and clothes while Lucius was, futilely I might add, trying to break them up.

"Please, please, ladies, release your violent urges AFTER the meeting," the long blonde haired boy pleaded. He mouthed to Erk, 'Help me!'

"Ahem...**FUCK**!" Erk yelled. That stopped the 3 girls from fighting. He gave Lucius a look that said 'You owe me big time', as he was given a looong speech from the 3 'religious' girls about cursing. "Look, I'm sorry, all right? That was the only thing that came to mind to stop you 3 from killing each other!"

"Oh...Then...Um...I'm sorry," Priscilla apologized, embarrassed.

"Why were you 3 fighting?"

"Um..." Serra and Priscilla whistled innocently, trying to avoid answering the question, but L'Arachel answered for them.

"They're arguing about who gets to take YOU, Erk, to the prom, and I was in there telling them that I'll tell you about this, because it didn't look like they'll be able to resolve this," L'Arachel told the mage, who now stood in shocked silence, just like the other two girls. "What? It didn't look like you two were going to tell him anyways, so I did it for you! You two should thank me!"

Priscilla and Serra then started yelling "PICK ME! NOT HER! ME!" at the purple haired mage and played human tug of war with him.

"ALL RIGHT! ENOUGH! Look...I can't choose between the two of you because whoever I choose, the other one will try to ruin our prom night or humiliate one of us...DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK...and don't give me the speech about 'I don't care about her as long as I get you.' I want you two to resolve this problem like the civilized women you are, all right?" Erk asked them, trying to keep the peace. The girls nodded.

"So, we're going to have a party at Hector's tonight," Eirika told them. "You two want to come?"

"Sure!" Priscilla and Serra replied simultaneously.

"Well then, let's go find Raymond and the others..." Lucius called to them.

* * *

**Underground Parking lot:**

"Rule number one: The only rule: NO KILLING! We don't want the cops on us like last time," a voice yelled.

"Good enough for me," Raymond said. He, Rebecca, and Wil are part of one of the school's biggest gangs, and were some of the group's best fighters. Raymond smirked. They were having a gang battle with the second biggest gang in the school; and the way long lasting gang battles are resolved is through the fight club. Each gang picks three of their best fighters to fight the other gang's group. In the fight club, Raymond was called Raven. They were facing Erik, the gang leader, and two of his cronies. "Erik's mine...Cocky Laus bastard," Raven growled while cracking his knuckles.

"BEGIN!"

One of Erik's cronies, now referred to as Erik Crony 1, or EC1, ran straight towards Wil. Wil just stood there. EC1 was a big and heavy boy; he readied his fist to punch Wil. Wil, however, remained calm. At the last second, Wil sidestepped to avoid the punch and put his foot out to trip EC1. EC1 recovered, brushed blood off his face, (asphalt hurts, dammit) and tried to clothesline Wil. Wil ducked it, and pulled EC1 into a sleeper hold, knocking the big person out in a few seconds.

EC2, Erik's second crony, ran towards Rebecca and tried to kick her. Rebecca sidestepped the kick, and spun around to do a back kick on the big man's head, knocking loose a few teeth. Rebecca wasn't done, however. She kicked the big man in the groin to stun him. Then she kneed him in the face, knocking him out.

Erik called for another one of his mates to give him his bo staff. Erik spun it around to intimidate Raven. Raven wasn't scared a bit, however. He put on some metal plated gloves. Erik thrust his staff at Raven, who sidestepped it. Erik swung his staff to the side to hit Raven. Raven reduced the damaged by blocking it with his glove. Erik pulled back his staff to strike Raven again, vertically this time. Raven grabbed the staff with his hands as it came down on him. He then pulled the staff out of the surprised Erik's hands, and beat Erik down with it. After Erik surrendered, he spat at the cocky boy.

"I give! All right...You win..." Erik said.

"You weren't even worth our time," Raven said. "Let's go, Wil, Rebecca."

As Raven, Wil, and Rebecca almost exited the lot, Raven heard something click behind him. He turned around to see Erik aiming a gun at his group...no, Rebecca.

"Here's a present for you, Dan," Erik said, smirking. Then he fired.

"REBECCA! DOWN!" Raven yelled, tackling Rebecca into the ground, making the shot miss. Wil turned around quickly. He took out a dagger from one of his pant pockets and threw it at Erik's armed hand, cutting off the brunette's pinkie and disarming him.

"Don't try that again, or we WILL kill you," Wil said coldly. Raven helped Rebecca up, as they cautiously moved away from the arena back to the school.

"I'm sorry...if not for my brother...this wouldn't have happened," the green haired girl apologized to Wil and Raven. Dan, or Dart as he was known in the fight club, is now at the U of E. Dan is an outstanding student, but he was the gang leader of Raven's gang until he left to go to university. He's in his freshman year there right now. Anyways, Dan brought his gang to glory after just a few days in it. Dan now has connections in the highest of places after stealing them from Erik's gang. Erik wants revenge for what Dan did.

"No, it's not your fault. We knew what we were getting into by joining this gang," Wil comforted her.

"Yeah. And if you got hit, Dan woulda beat the crap out of us," Raven told her. "You're safe with us, Rebecca."

"Thanks, guys..."

"And WHERE have you been?" L'Arachel was waiting for them at the top of the stairs, and started to give another one of her famous speeches. This one was about gangs and fighting.

'Oh dear Elimine, make it stop...' Wil cried inwardly.

Raven gave Lucius, his best friend, a pleading look that clearly said 'save me!'

After a few minutes, it was finally over. Thank Elimine.

* * *

**Flagpole:**

Ephraim and Innes ran up to Eliwood and Hector when they saw the redhead and blue haired youth sitting by the flagpole. "What's up?" Ephraim asked the redhead.

"This," Eliwood simply said, and waved Ephraim and Innes to sit behind him, as he clicked something on his laptop. The genius hacker typed this and that for a few seconds, and whispered, 'Bingo.'

"...Whazzat?" Hector asked, not understanding what's going on.

"...I'm only telling you three since you three are the most mature out of our group, and I hope you all can keep a secret. Look at this," Eliwood told them to look at the monitor. He moved the cursor so that it was pointing at something. "This piece of information I found from a rare disk I found on the ground; the rare and expensive type of CD called a 'tome.'"

"...You mean those things that hold Terabytes of information?" Ephraim asked in shock. "Who would be so stupid to drop something like THAT? Those cost millions! Where did you find it?"

"At the soccer field. I saw something shining under the sun, and there it was," Eliwood told the green haired boy. "Anyways, look at this. It contains blueprints of top secret military projects. Look at this! It's...It's a nuke!"

"...I bet Erk would KILL to get his hands on that..." Hector joked.

"This is seirous, you dolt," Innes scolded him. "...Wow. It's...more powerful than anything I read about."

"And...what's this? Project Psycho?" Ephraim asked Eliwood, who merely shrugged as he double clicked the folder. There were more folders, each with a name. "...Those are the names of the high schools in Elibe and Magvel..." Ephraim said. "Hold on, scroll back up. Let's check our school."

"I...I don't believe it! This has records of people from our school up to 3 years ago!" Hector exclaimed.

"Why would they need these?"

"I don't know...but I don't like this..." Eliwood said worriedly. "Let's keep this a secret for now. Hey...let's check out Innes's! ...Have been gay buddies with Ephraim since..."

"WHAT?" Innes pushed Eliwood away to see the thing for himself. "...You weren't shitting me. WHO WROTE THIS?"

"Heh heh...whoever it was has a cruel sense of humor..." Ephraim said. "I would have guessed Erik, but he's too stupid to even use Microsoft Word."

"Anyways, let's keep this a secret between us ONLY," Eliwood told them.

The other 3 boys agreed, and left for Hector's house after calling their friends. "But for now, LET'S PARTY!" Hector yelled. "I got Heath to volunteer to be our DJ for tonight."

* * *

Please R&R! Hope you liked this first chapter; I finished it the day before I posted it but I didn't have time to proofread it. Please review; your criticism helps!  



	2. Assassins and DDR

Disclaimer: I don't own FE and whatever

Karel's a breakdancer. Yay. I've decided on making the first 5 chapters dedicated to the beginning of the conspiracy / summer break.

**

* * *

UNIVERSITY OF ETRURIA**

**Chapter 2: Assassins and DDR**

**

* * *

Government Building, Ostia:**

"No, Darin, please just leave me alone," Uther told him for the third time. "I'm not interested in taking down the president. You're mad Darin; you're lucky no one's turned you in yet."

"Yes, I suppose I am. It's a shame, though; I could use your abilities. Ah! Perhaps all you need is motivation," Darin said from the other end of the line.

"...What do you want?" Uther asked; he was suspicious of what Darin meant.

"Perhaps I should go talk to Hector; he seems to be the person who'd be interested in something like this."

Uther's face paled and his eyes widened. "Leave my brother out of this," Uther said angrily, worried about Hector's well being.

"Ta-Ta!"

"DARIN! DARIN! DARIN!"

**

* * *

Elm Street, Etruria:**

"Lessee...1297 Elm street, blue and gray house with a black roof...Here we are," a long haired figure said to himself. "...Sis picked a pretty bad part of town to rent a house in..." he mused. He then continued singing to Sir Mix-a-lot's "Healthy Butt", which was the song he's listening to on his MP3. "I like big BUTTS, and I cannot lie...!"

Guy, Karla, Marisa, and Lyn all rented a house, 1297 Elm Street. It was at a convenient location; only a few blocks away from the school. However, although the houses were in good shape, the neighborhood wasn't. This street had been the battleground of many gang wars; shards of broken beer bottles and other stuff were around. Karel later found out that there was a fight there yesterday.

A big man walked up to him. "Who the hell are you? You're trespassing on our turf; get the hell out if you don't wanna die," he ordered Karel.

"Aren't everyone that lives here trespassing on your turf, then?" Karel asked him.

"...Uh...yeah...but they could kick our asses if they teamed up...but since they don't want to fight, we claim it ours! You'd best leave if you want to live."

"Sorry, but I ain't leaving."

"Too bad for you. BOYS! WE GOT A ROUGE ONE!" the big man called to his friends; 3 other men came out from a dark alley. "That's it? Where's everyone else?"

"They're at school; Erik's been beaten by Raven!" one of the newcomers told him.

"Well, whatever. It's only one guy," the first one said, and looked at Karel again.

Karel smirked. The fools didn't know what they were getting themselves into. He mastered the Sacaean martial art Capoeira a few years ago; this is the reason why he's so good at breakdancing. The 4 big men all ran up to Karel. Karel kicked one hard in the gut, jumped up into the air, and dropkicked him in the face. As he landed on his back, he recovered with a forward roll, sweep kicked another one, and did an axe kick on the one that was swept. Karel stood up to do a hard roundhouse kick on another one's face. Then he looked at the other one with a death glare, and the remaining gang member ran away in fear. "Weak," Karel said.

Karel opened the gate and walked up the steps to the door, and rang the bell. He waited for a few minutes. "It looks like they're not home yet..." he said to himself, and continued rapping.

Guy, Marisa, Karla, Lyn, Kent, Sain, and Florina were heading for the house. Kent, Sain, and Florina were visiting; they want to prepare for the party later that night. And Sain wanted to flirt with the four girls. Sain, however, received a headlock from Kent, a beating from Lyn, and giggles from Marisa and Karla after he got beat up.

"Hey, someone's at our door..." Lyn noticed and told her friends.

"It's...It's Karel! BROTHER!" Karla ran up to her older brother, who looked up from his rapping to hug his sister.

"'Bout time you got here. I need a bathroom, quick," Karel told her. Karla giggled, and unlocked the door. She then picked up Karel's bag and entered the house. Karel visits them every summer break to hang out, and to play video games with Guy. Karel is teaching the younger Sacaean Capoeira as well. Karel also goes to the U of E, majoring in music, now in his second year.

Karel rushed into the house to look for the bathroom. This is the second house the Sacaeans and Marisa rented, so he didn't know where the bathroom is. 'Crapcrapcrap.'

"Um...Brother? The bathroom is down the hall to your right."

"THANKS!" Karel yelled back, and went inside and slammed the door. Flushing could be heard a few seconds later, and he went out feeling relaxed and relieved. "Ahhhh..."

"Karel! Check out the new stuff we got!" Guy invited the long-haired Sacaean over to the living room. "Behold...Dance Dance Revolution!"

"...Hallelujah..." Karel said breathlessly. "It's...beautiful...What say we go for a round?"

"Bring it!"

A few seconds later, loud music can be heard downstairs as Guy and Karel danced to an eastern song. Sain and Kent were playing Guy's PS2, and the girls were upstairs gossiping and choosing clothes to wear for the party that night.

"Man...I can't believe our luck! We're all going to the same university next year!" Lyn said joyfully. "Oh, I'm sorry Florina, but good luck on getting there, all right?"

"He he..." the orchid haired girl laughed nervously. "I...I'm gonna miss you guys...It's going to be lonely since all my friends are older..."

"Don't worry, you still have your sister Farina, right?"

"Yeah, I guess...but she's in a gang, and you know I don't like getting involved with gangs..."

"Oh...right."

The girls then changed their clothes for the party. Lyn wore a green t-shirt with a small green short-sleeved jacket and jeans. Florina wore the same thing, but she chose a blue shirt and a lavender jacket that isn't short-sleeved. Karla decided to go out in black clothing that night; she wore a black tank top and short skirt, as well as black stockings. Marisa decided to wear something foreign; she recently bought this silk purple eastern dress that had slits on its side to show the side of the wearer's thighs.

"Absolutely stunning, ladies," Sain praised them as they came down the stairs. "Well then, shall we get going?" Sain offered his elbow for one of the girls to grab, but he got beat up again by Lyn. "I am so underappreciated..." he complained to Kent once they were on the road in Guy's sports car. The girls were going in Lyn's SUV.

**

* * *

Hector's...mansion:**

"We here, fellas," Eliwood said, stopping his car just in front of the gate. Hector walked out of the car and pressed the bell and another button.

"Oswin, it's me. Open the gate," Hector called through the comlink.

"Of course, young master," the bodyguard replied and opened the front gates of the mansion. Eliwood drove up to the front door after passing through the large garden of Hector's estate. "Hello again, Masters Eliwood, Innes, and Ephraim," the big tan haired man greeted them. "Something is going to happen, I presume, with all of you coming over?"

"Oh, that's right, Oswin. I'm having a party and a sleepover tonight; tell Matthew to get the place prepared and to buy some food and drinks. Usual procedures with the alcohol; hide it from the religious girls," Hector instructed.

Oswin stifled a laugh. "Of course, young master," Oswin responded, and went inside to give Matthew his orders.

An hour later, they could be found playing Halo on Hector's giant plasma screen TV. "Ahh...this it the life..." Ephraim commented as he assassinated Hector from behind with an energy blade. Then he cursed when Innes got him by a headshot. And Innes cursed when Eliwood assassinated him. Eliwood won...again for the 3rd game in a row.

"Who's yo' daddy? That's right, who's yo' daddy? WHO'S YO'...ARGH!" Eliwood yelped as he was tackled by a pissed off Innes.

"DOGPILE!" Hector yelled. Innes and Eliwood looked up in horror as the big boy landed on top of both of them. "Oh yeah, that was fun."

"Shut up, Hector. You're not the one being crushed under a 300 pound weight," Eliwood complained, futilely trying to push both Innes and Hector off while Ephraim is laughing his butt off at the redhead's misfortune. As soon as Innes got off of him, Eliwood started sucking in air like he never breathed before. "Ahh...bastards."

"We should get ready soon; my sister and her friends are coming here first," Ephraim told the group.

"Oh, right, and I need to pick up Ninian. And Nils," Eliwood quickly added. "Well, I'll be back soon. See ya," Eliwood ran towards the front door to find Matthew waiting for him outside with his car ready. "Wow, Matthew, thanks! How do you always know when I'm going to leave?"

"Intuition, Eliwood, intuition," Matt replied, smiling.

"Thanks, Matt," Eliwood thanked the butler, took his keys from the butler's hands, and drove out of the mansion's yard to pick up Ninian and Nils. 'He seems to be okay now...' Eliwood thought. 'But he's always so optimistic; he's probably still hurting inside from Leila's death...'

Soon, Eirika, Tana, and their group of friends arrived at Hector's house. Hector, Ephraim, and Erk went downstairs to the hidden booze chamber. Soon a loud explosion can be heard in the backyard, and Hector yelled, "DO THAT AGAIN AND IMMA SHOVING THE NEXT MOLOTOV COCKTAIL UP YOUR ASS!"

Meanwhile, Eliwood finally reached Ninian's house. It was cold outside, so he put his blue hoodie on. He went up to the door to knock, but Ninian opened it as soon as he reached the doorstep. She looked at him, embarrassed. Ninian was wearing a large light blue sweater with a teal t-shirt underneath, and she was also wearing tattered jeans. She fashioned her long light greenish blue hair differently; she had 2 golden rings wrap some of her bangs.

**

* * *

Ninian's house:**

"...Were you waiting?" Eliwood asked her. Ninian blushed and was about to say something, but Nils interrupted her.

"Oooohhh yeah, she's been waiting all right. Since we got home, all she did was sit by the windowsill looking outside, waiting for your car. It was creepy, you know?" Nils told the redhead. Ninian's blush became even redder, but she recovered by smacking Nils on the back of his head. "OW! It's the truth!"

"Um...really?"

"Apparently," Nils answered for Ninian again. "Well, Eliwood, can we go somewhere before we go to Hector's? I want to pick up Myrrh."

"Who's Myrrh?" Eliwood asked the siblings.

"She's my girlfriend. She lives pretty close to Hector's house, but it's still not in walking distance of her house," Nils told him.

"No problem. Well, shall we?" Eliwood offered his elbow to Ninian. The girl blushed, and took it. The three then walked towards Eliwood's car.

**

* * *

Hector's house:**

"I...Will...WIN!" Guy said, and looked intently at the screen of Hector's DDR machine while dancing madly to the beat, not missing a step. Apparently after arriving, he and Karel went straight to it after hearing from the host that he had one. This is their twentieth round; and the other nineteen rounds ended up with a tie of both players getting Perfect 300's.

"Bring...it..." Karel panted. Both he and Guy were very tired after 19 straight games of pure mad dancing on the expert level. Everyone else at the party was looking at them; Joshua was placing bets on who would win. And he was raking in the money since it kept on ending in a tie. People were going to quit, but with his mad persuasion skillz, they kept on betting. Yes, even L'Arachel bet some on Karel. She later claimed that it was because he looked more experienced in dancing. Of course, this is just a claim.

"Hmm...This is going nowhere," Marisa commented. "Hmmm...We should do something to quicken this..." she whispered to Tana, grinning evilly.

"Oh yes, I think you're right," Tana returned her friend's evil grin with a much more evil one. "Say, I got an idea. Why don't we..." Tana whispered something into Marisa's ear, and Marisa grinned.

"KARLA'S TAKING HER TOP OFF!" Marisa and Tana yelled.

"WHAT?" That was Karla. In disbelief and shock.

"WHAT?" That was Karel. In disbelief and shock and rage.

"WHAT?" That was Guy. In disbelief and shock and pure horniness.

That did the trick. Guy tripped and his face smashed into the screen of the DDR machine, knocking him out. "Ohho, Karel wins," Joshua said happily. He made a huge profit today; most of the money was won from the ties, however. Still, 3000 gold is still 3000 gold.

"I am NOT taking my top off!" Karla said angrily to the two girls who stood beside her. Then she realized what they were doing; they wanted to end the dancing competition. She blushed in embarrassment.

Guy got up, then put his hand on his face. 'Dammit, I'm bleeding...' he thought. "What did I miss?" he asked non-chalantly.

"...Nothing really, except for the fact that your face is really bloody. And so is the DDR machine," Karel told him.

"Oh my God, Guy, I'm so sorry..." Karla walked around the mass of people to the bleeding green-haired boy. "Um...And no, you didn't miss anything since I didn't take my top off. But, seriously, are you okay?"

"...My face is bleeding."

"...Stupid question, yeah. Hector, where's the first aid kit?" Karla asked the big blue-haired host.

"Go to the washroom; it's in the light blue cupboard!" Hector yelled from the other side of the room. "Damn...Matthew! Can you clean this up?"

"Of course, young master," Matthew appeared the big youth from out of nowhere with a wet cloth.

"How'd you do that?" Hector asked the butler after he jumped in surprise.

"I'm very sneaky, sir. Very very sneaky."

**

* * *

Myrrh's place:**

"Myrrh! It's me, Nils!" Nils called from the front door of the girl's house. Nils was all ready to go, and waited impatiently. The boy wore his trademark white headband today, as well as a black leather jacket, a white t-shirt, and navy blue sweatpants. Myrrh opened the door. Myrrh has indigo hair; she tied it to two pigtails on the sides of her head. She wore a red long-sleeved shirt and pink skirt with crimson knee-high socks, and Adidas runners. She immediately jumped on Nils, and they started making out in the front yard.

"...I'm jealous of him..." Eliwood commented in the car. Ninian blushed. "I haven't done that in 4 years since that break up with Fiora..."

"...I'm sorry to hear that," Ninian said sympathetically.

"Yo! Sorry if we kept you waiting, Eli," Nils said as he and Myrrh went inside the car.

"No, no, not at all."

"Hey, I have an idea! Why don't we go in a double date?" Myrrh, who is usually quiet, suggested out of nowhere. Eliwood braked the car in surprise, making everybody lurch forward. "Or...not..."

"I'm sorry, just surprised," Eliwood apologized.

"Um...it's a good idea, if you want to, that is," Ninian said, looking at the redheaded driver, who is now blushing madly. "Eliwood?"

"Sure, why not?"

Eliwood is pleased. Very pleased. 'Score!' he mentally cheered. 'This wasn't your doing, but, at least, you're one step closer to your goal! I owe Myrrh and Nils for this, big time.'

**

* * *

Hector's house:**

Lyon, Joshua, Ross, and Franz were playing with the block tower thing. The rule of the game is simple. Take out the block with the same number as the one you rolled on a die, and place it on top. Each floor of the block tower is made up of 3 long rectangular wooden boxes. The loser is the one that makes the tower crash. Joshua, of course, had made this into a round of gambling, as well.

Ross easily lost the first round; his big hands weren't suitable for this. Then, Joshua was out; he claimed he lost his luck. Now, the only ones left were Lyon and Franz. They squinted at each other as the tower was being reset, like cowboys would when they were having duels. (Cue western duel music here) "1...2...3...Begin, Lyon!" Joshua started the game.

Each turn, the tower became weaker, and weaker. The watchers looked at the two players with maddening anticipation and silence. Sweat ran down Lyon's and Franz's faces; they were nervous; the tower was about to fall. It was Franz's turn. He rolled a 1. The only '1' block that was accessible, and not at the top, was in a difficult position. This and another block right beside it were the only blocks holding up the top half of the tower. Luckily, it's still possible to get; it wasn't the block in the middle. So he tried to get it. Very slowly. However, he was too slow, because as soon as he took it out, the tower crumbled. He sighed, and shook hands with Lyon.

"Yay! Lyon! Nice game!" Eirika hugged the skinny purple haired boy happily.

"Eirika...bones...fragile...snap crackle pop..." Lyon gasped in the hug. Eirika let go and smiled at him. "Thank you," he panted as he gasped for air.

Soon, Matthew and the cooks finished cooking the food and set it out on the large table in the kitchen. "The food is ready, young master," Matthew told Hector as he appeared suddenly beside the big boy.

"GAH! ...Oh, it's you...Um, great then! FOOD'S READY!" Hector yelled, and thanked the butler. Then he went into the kitchen and started gobbling food.

Meanwhile, Eliwood, Ninian, Nils, and Myrrh just arrived, and had just entered, when Eliwood heard Ephraim yell, "DOGPILE!" Soon, Eliwood was under a large mass of people that included Innes, Ephraim, Joshua, Erk, Raven, Lucius, Wil, and Sain. "What's up, Eli?"

"...(gasps for air)...Why did you do that?" Eliwood asked the green haired youth while gasping for breath.

"Just in case," Ephraim said, smiling as the dogpile cleared.

"All right, now that everyone's here, I just wanna make tell you the ground rules. ONE! No burning anything. That means you, Erk and Ewan. TWO! No making things explode, also goes to Erk and Ewan. THREE! The make out rooms will the various closets around the house; feel free to use whichever ones you please, that's why they're there," Hector said, getting a few laughs from everyone. "If you're gonna have sex, I ain't supplying the condoms. However, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT, go in my bedroom, unless I've invited you, ladies," he said, winking at Florina, who hid behind Lyn in her fear of men.

"Nice job, Hector, you just worsened Florina's phobia of men," Lyn patted his back.

"Damn, I was hoping for a different result," the boy sighed.

Innes and Ephraim are now on the DDR machine, and are proving themselves to be dancers that are almost, if not just as good as, Karel and Guy. Of course, the competitiveness of the two played a large factor in that.

"Marisa...You thinking what I'm thinking?" Eirika whispered to the purple haired girl. "I think Karla would want to do this, but I don't think she has enough guts; so let's do this for her."

"Mm. You're right...on 3...1...2...3...TANA'S TAKING HER TOP OFF!"

"WHAT?" That was Ephraim, who turned at the direction of the sound, and tripped over his own feet, smashing his back on the hand rest behind him. His reasons for doing so were the same as Guy's when Tana and Marisa yelled Karla was taking her top off.

"WHAT?" That was Innes, who did the same thing as Ephraim. His reasons, however, were the same as Karel's.

"WHAT?" That was Tana, whose reason for turning around was the same as Karla's. She saw her friends giggling, and frowned. "...I'm gonna get you...just you wait..." she threatened the two.

Karla was in the washroom applying bandages to Guy's face. It was almost done; however, the right half of his face looks like a mummy's. Luckily, the bleeding had stopped. Karla smiled maliciously when she heard Marisa and Eirika outside. Then she turned back to the task at hand. "You sure are klutzy...Remember that time you tripped on something and fell down the stairs?"

"...I went back up to check what it was. Pink frilled Hello Kitty panties," Guy replied; he was sitting on the toilet seat of the main washroom. "Someone apparently doesn't clean up after herself..."

"Oh...heh heh...Um...That's mine..." Karla blushed in embarrassment.

"And you're calling ME klutzy? Even after you've seen me dance?"

"Heh heh...Sorry, but I get that messiness thing from Karel..."

"...I see...Thanks Karla, I'm good now."

"You're sure?" Karla leaned towards him to feel Guy's head.

"I'm sure," Guy said. Karla then stood up relieved.

"I sure hope so...I'm gonna need to wash my hands...Where's the goddamn lavender scented soap?" Karla cursed, then she leaned forward to open the cupboard behind Guy to look for it; she was sure she saw it there when she was looking for the bandages. She opened it, but the door hit the back of Guy's head. Guy's face fell forward into Karla's rather large cleavage. "GUY YOU PERV!"

"...Klutz...senses...are...tingling..." Karel said suddenly. "Something tells me I'm gonna have to drive Guy to the hospital tonight...but I think I'm being paranoid."

"URGH!" Karla came out of the washroom, fuming mad, right after the toilet flushed.

"What happened, sis?" Karel asked her. Karla just looked at him with a face filled with pure rage. Karel stepped back in utmost fear; he hardly ever saw his sister this angry. He was worried about his student, so he went to the washroom to check up on Guy. Apparently, Guy's hair was being flushed down the toilet. "...You're one smooth operator..." Karel said to Guy as the younger Sacaean finally fixed his hair.

"...Does toilet water mix with gel?" Guy asked Karel.

"Naw. I tried it."

The party went on normally after that. People were chatting and gossiping inside the house and outside, near the pool, and the cooks were busy cooking up food for the hungry teenagers. Time sure flies by when you're having fun, because soon, the people that can't stay over had to go home. "All right, thanks for coming! See ya guys!" Hector said goodbye to the last guest. Now, the people that are sleeping over are: Eliwood, Ninian, Nils, Myrrh, Lyn, Florina, Farina, Fiora, Kent, Sain (whom the girls were avoiding), Wil, Raymond, Rebecca, Priscilla, Lucius, Ewan, Erk, Heath, Ross, Amelia, Franz, Lute, Nino, Lyon, Ephraim, Eirika, Innes, Tana, Joshua, L'Arachel, Guy, Marisa, Karel, and Karla (still angry at Guy). "Well, that was fun. MATTHEW!"

"Yes, young master?" Matthew popped up behind Hector.

"GAH! ...Oh...Can you PLEASE, for the love of Elimine, not do THAT?" Hector asked him, turned around, to find that Matthew wasn't there anymore.

"Do what? This?" Matthew asked cheerily from Hector's left.

"GAH! Exactly that!"

"Heheh...You're no fun, young master."

"Anyways, we need this...mess...cleaned up. Get the men ready, will ya? Thanks."

"Of course, young master."

The teens went to the guest rooms to get a good few hours of sleep; it was 2 AM in the morning.

Outside, Oswin held his hand in his pocket, nervously waiting. He didn't know what he was waiting for, but he had a feeling that it needed shooting. Lots of shooting. His feelings were usually right, too; they got him out of many a pinch when he was in the Secret Service of Ostia. He quit being a spy to become a bodyguard, a job he found to suit himself better. He twitched when he heard movement behind him. He took out his gun quickly and aimed behind him, and yelled, "FREEZE!"

"Oswin! Chill out, all right? It's me," Serra said.

Oswin sighed. "What is it now, Miss Serra? If you need help, you go to Matt, not me..."

"I'm just getting some fresh air, sheesh."

"All right then. Be on your way."

Oswin should have felt relaxed now; the 'threat' was just Serra. However, he still didn't feel right. It's like someone was watching him...and aiming a rifle at him. Oswin turned around to see a flash of light coming from the roof of the mansion. He rolled to his side to avoid a sniper's shot. "DAMN!" he yelled, and started firing at the spot where the light came from. He hit his mark; someone rolled down and fell from the roof.

"Oswin, what's going on?" Serra asked him, walking towards the bodyguard after hearing the gunshots. "Who's shooting?"

"...Serra, get back inside. Warn the others, we're under attack," Oswin muttered. Serra nodded, she knew from Oswin's tone that the bodyguard was serious. "Damn it..." Oswin cursed, and pulled out his walkie talkie. "Matthew!"

"I know. I heard the gunshots while I was cleaning up the living room. I think they're above the roof; I'll get my guns," Matthew replied. "Over and out." Matthew ran into his room and opened a secret stash of firearms under his bed. He took out his favorite twin handguns, and put them in his pocket. Before becoming a butler, he was also secret service, just like Oswin and Leila. "What's up now..."

"What? Gunshots?" Hector asked Serra.

"Really! Oswin said we're under attack," the pink-haired girl replied.

"...Dammit! Erk, Priscilla, Heath, and Lute are still upstairs playing games! We have to warn them!" Hector started to run up the stairs, but then the security system of the house started to activate.

"LEVEL 10 RED ALERT, SECURITY SYSTEM ONLINE!" the computer said. "COMMENCING ROOM LOCKDOWN."

"Dammit!...I hope you 4 will be all right..." Hector muttered under his breath.

Meanwhile, in the living room, 4 armed figures jumped in through the windows. Their faces were covered in masks. They had their weapons up; they saw from outside that there were 2 boys and 2 girls in the room. They were puzzled; no one was inside. Then the room lockdown started; the windows and the living room were barred now.

"Levitate!" Erk and Lute yelled from behind a couch, and sent the couch flying at the four assailants using their magic power. One jumped over the attack; however, the other 3 were crushed under the piece of furniture, and trapped there. The one that was left released a hailstorm of bullets out of his Uzi, but the kids dodged them by hiding behind other furniture. He stopped when he ran out of bullets. Then he heard whimpering to his left. He saw movement and a lock of red hair. He walked towards it, and pulled Priscilla out. He then pulled out a dagger and held it at the girl's neck.

"ALL OF YOU, COME OUT NOW, OR SHE DIES!" the assassin yelled.

"...Heath, I want you to..." Erk whispered to Heath. The green and white haired youth nodded, and snuck around. Erk and Lute then stood up. "Here we are. Let her go."

"...Where's the other one?" the assassin asked him.

"What other one?"

"Don't lie to me, boy, or she's gone."

"Well, if you'd like to know, he's behind you."

"You think that trick will work on me?"

"Well, yes, since you just fell for it."

The assassin looked puzzled, and turned around, to see a staff coming down at him. The assassin was then knocked out. Heath gave Erk a thumbs up sign and said, "Peace."

"Thank you, Heath," Priscilla thanked the wild haired youth.

"Don't mention it."

"...Your shoulder! It's bleeding!"

"Oh? Huh, I guess it is. A bullet grazed my shoulder, I guess."

"We need to get out of here..." Lute said, worried. "I'm worried about the others..."

"Guys, just in case we don't make it out alive...I want to do something," Erk said. "Heath, you know what I'm talking about, so do it now."

"I was hoping this could wait...but, since our lives are on the line now, I guess...There's no better time. Priscilla, will you go with me to the prom?" Heath asked the redhead, who is now in shock. Silence filled the room.

Lute slapped Erk, breaking the silence. "WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY ASSASSINS, AND ALL YOU CAN THINK OF IS THE PROM!" she yelled angrily at him.

"I love you too," Erk said sarcastically.

"Really?"

"...Wanna find out?"

"...Seeing that Sain-like look in your eyes, I think I'll pass..."

"...I think we should tie up our attackers, just in case...Entangle!" Erk chanted, and ropes appeared out of nowhere, tying up the 4 assassins.

Matthew walked on top of the roof slowly, hiding in the shadows, and readied his twin pistols. 15 men, heavily armed, were setting up a bomb to blow the roof down. Matthew smirked, and started shooting the men with deadly aim. Soon, all 15 of them were dead. "Hmm...Hey, isn't that..." Matthew mused as he walked over to one of the fallen bodies. His suspicions were confirmed; they were assassins. Black Fang assassins, the finest in the whole world. "Who would want to attack us?...Hmm...Well," Matthew sighed, and called Oswin with his walkie talkie. "Oswin? All clear, over and out."

"Security system Armads, access password, Naglfar. Turn off security lockdown," Oswin said, after pressing a button to activate the voice control of the security system.

After that, everyone slept soundly...at least for that night.

* * *

**Please R&R! **Love y'all :P  



	3. Unfortunate Governor Pent

Disclaimer: I don't own FE and whatever. And Erk is the ultimate pyro.

**

* * *

UNIVERSITY OF ETRURIA**

**

* * *

Chapter 3: Unfortunate Governor Pent**

**

* * *

Arcadia, Nabata:**

A tall man with silver hair walked down a set of steel stairs 25 feet underground. His hair was braided and tied at the end with a black band. He wore a black business suit and a pair of loafers of a matching color. The suit was slightly wrinkled; there were signs that the man didn't really care about making his clothes look good. Underneath the suit was a long-sleeved business shirt; striped and colored white. And on his collar was a yellow tie with pink polka dots on it. Pent sighed. He hated that tie, but it was mandatory to go to work with a tie; unfortunately for him, that was the only one he had that day.

On the bright side, however, the day was almost done. He just needed to tell his agents their new assignments, and then he would be done for the day. He then walked up towards a door in a long dimly lit hallway. Then he punched in a code, making the door slide open. He walked in, and tried to cover his tie with his suit. Unfortunately, he failed, and received a few laughs from the people already inside the room. They were sitting around a large wooden table, and Pent took his chair, the one closest to the door, and sat.

"Welcome, Lord Pent!" a gruff voice greeted him from inside the room. The voice came from a tall and muscular man with slightly spiky light green hair. He has sideburns about an inch and a half in length, as well as a small goatee. His face has a scar right above the nose; it looked pretty old, and went from one cheek to the other. He wore a headband to keep his locks at the back of his hair. This man is Gerik.

There are other people in the room; mostly just scientists that work here, two of them being in the top 3 biologists in the world; Knoll and Canas. Knoll is a lavender haired man with a frail build; he's very skinny, and likes to sit in the farthest corner, while playing around with a coin in his hand. He's very weird in that he can't ever keep still; his hands always have to be playing with something unless he's asleep.

Canas has a darker shade of purple hair, and by his looks, you could tell that he's not only a biologist, but a historian as well. He wears a monocle, which is basically just a lens instead of the two that people use for glasses. He said that it was a family heirloom. He's also a teacher at the UE, and is a married man.

There was another person there; the only female there. She was sitting right beside Gerik. Pent didn't recognize her since she was never there before; Gerik must have taken her here. She had eyes and hair the same color and shade; only slightly darker than Canas's. She wore a tight fitting leather suit and boots; Pent could see her fiddling around with a dagger, and almost yelped. She had a certain aura around her that spread fear. Her long hair was tied into a ponytail at the back of her hair, and the locks on the side were braided with silver rings. She sat very silently, not making a sound. The freaky thing is, she looked to be only 18 years old.

The other people in the room were just scientists working under Canas and Knoll or other agents under Gerik's command. They were all part of the ECP, or the Elibian Continental Peacekeepers (kind of like the FBI), and Pent was responsible for keeping them up to date on the most important missions.

"Canas, Knoll," Pent greeted them briskly; he wanted to get this meeting over with as soon as possible. "How is the medicine research going?" he asked them.

"It's doing well, sir. I estimate that we'll be finished in 2 weeks...We'll be able to save him then..." Knoll replied.

"Thank Elimine. Now Vigarde won't kill me. Canas, how about the ..." Pent was interrupted as a cell phone rang; it was Canas's. Pent's eyebrow twitched as the historian picked it up to open it and a loud voice blared.

"Geez! Mother! I'm working!...NO! NO! Don't do that! Leave Hugh alone, mother! ...No, no...Oh, gods...Hugh, say sorry to your grandmother...You're grounded! Now get your grandmother on the line! ...Mother? FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME, DO NOT CALL ME AT WORK!" Canas yelled into the phone, fuming, and quickly turned it off after disconnecting. "Phew... anyways, the research is almost complete. My team has almost completely hacked through Darin's defense systems; we'll have all the information on Project Psycho by next month..."

"Excellent. Gerik, I want you to look up something now. Uther's..."

"I heard," Gerik interrupted. "You want me to find out about who sent the assassins. Well, first, let me introduce you to our newest member; Leila's replacement. Her name is Marisa. She's a trained assassin, hacker, and spy. I've received news that Leila's death, although it looked like an accident, was actually attempted murder. The culprit is said to be in the UE, and is part of the Black Fang; her first assignment is to find Leila's murderer and either kill or arrest him," he explained. Marisa simply nodded. "There might be a bit of a problem. She's a bit...devilish. I can't believe you pulled that off on Fado's and Hayden's kids."

"Hey, they wouldn't stop dancing, and I wanted to get on. Besides, Eirika was in it, too," was her rather quiet reply.

"Well, she's graduating into that university anyways, so there will be no need to fake her papers, making our job so much easier."

"All right then," Pent said, getting out of his chair. "Well, I've got to go now; I need to pick up Erk at the airport; he said he's bringing a couple of friends over too...I'm going to need to call Louise to borrow her van..."

**

* * *

A few hours later, Reglay airport:**

A purple haired mage walked very slowly. Of course, he would be walking much faster, but he couldn't due to the fact that he was carrying so many luggages on his back and on his arms. The same problem is happening to both Raven and Lucius; Priscilla, Lute, and Serra were already walking ahead to buy Etrurian clothing from the famous "Elfire" store in the airport.

The boys looked longingly outside through the store windows at whatever they wanted to buy. Erk was looking at a red (his favorite color) hoodie; he's been saving up to buy this one for quite a while. Raven wants to buy a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that said, "Yo Mama" on it. Lucius was looking at an expensive cap and jacket.

Their dreams were crushed, however, as the girls walked out of the store happily, wearing new clothes bought with the boys' money. Erk sighed. Lute, being the manipulative genius she is, Priscilla, with her puppy dog eyes, and Serra, being...Serra, made the boys give up all their money.

Serra was wearing a new pair of black jeans with the baseball cap Lucius wanted; the blonde felt like crying at that time. Also, she now sported some new shiny bracelets on her right wrist, and a 'Divine' watch on her right. Her usual white T-shirt is replaced by a white tank top.

Priscilla wore a pink hoodie; the kind that Erk wanted, for females, of course. She wore those really tight T and A pants, getting her a few looks from the men around the airport, as well as from Lucius, Erk, and her brother. The feather emblem that she usually had on her head was replaced by a new one; it was of a much better quality, and much shinier.

Lute's look was pretty much a copy of Priscilla's, except that she wore purple jacket and shoes instead of pink.

'My money...' Raven, Lucius, and Erk cried inside.

"There you are!" Pent greeted the purple haired youth. Erk looked up to see his guardian...with bodyguards, as usual, but surprisingly, not with Louise.

"Yo! Uncle Pent!" Erk walked up to the older man and hugged him, gangster style. Pent, surprisingly, knew this gesture, although he is an important figure in the government. Erk then waved for his friends to come over, and started introducing them. "Well, uncle, from left to right, they are: Lute, Lucius, Serra, Raymond, and Priscilla."

"All right, all right. That's great, but let's talk in the car. Guards, you can go home now, I'm fine for today," Pent commanded his guards.

"But sir..." one of them started to object, but Pent interrupted.

"No buts! You're off for today because I said so. Don't worry; you'll still be getting your usual pay for today...Off with you now!"

The guards shrugged and left.

"God. Can't a guy have any privacy..." Pent muttered under his breath. Then he motioned for Erk and his friends to follow him to his car.

**

* * *

Reglay Residence:**

"Uh, Lord Pent? Is there a gym, or a place where there's a punching bag nearby?" Raven asked Pent as he and his friends finished unpacking.

"Nope, sorry...This is the rich people part of town, you know," Pent yelled back from inside the kitchen. The poor governor was wearing Louise's pink hearts apron, getting him a few laughs from the girls, making him twitch A LOT.

The poor governor received the job of having to cook for the kids since Louise is out having fun again tonight. He never bothered to have servants because writing their checks would mean much more paperwork, and Elimine knows how much he hates paperwork.

Priscilla was outside, sitting on the balcony, while trying to get a call to Heath. The DJ was probably working, since she was never able to get through. Priscilla sighed, and went back inside to eat ice cream.

Lucius and Erk were playing a game of SSBM, and Lucius was getting owned badly. The TV shouted, "A WINNER IS...ROY!"

"ARGH!" Lucius yelled, pulling his long hair in his frustration. "How...Wha...But...GAY!"

"Heh heh. You can never defeat the 1337 master of the mighty sword of seals," Erk said, smirking.

"Grr...I'll show you!" Lucius growled, and chose Mewtwo.

**

* * *

7 minutes later...**

"A WINNER IS...ROY!"

"ARGH!" Lucius yelled again.

"Heh heh. Hey...I just noticed this; doesn't he look like Eliwood?" Erk asked the blonde, who just noticed it too after having it pointed out to him by the purple hair.

"You're right...Awesome!"

Serra was rummaging through beauty products in her room, so we'll just leave her alone for now.

Lute was inside her room. She had unpacked all of her books, and damn, there were a lot of books. Know why Erk's load was so heavy back at the airport? A third of his load was his stuff, another 3rd was Serra's beauty products, and the last 3rd were half of Lute's books. And there was a total of probably 100. She's a bloody fast reader, that Lute.

Anyways, Lute lied down on her bed, exhausted. She never went on a plane trip before, except for the one when she moved from Magvel to Elibe. She tried to sleep, but for some reason, her eyes couldn't close. She decided to try reading a book.

Lute smiled; reading was her passion. And strangely, reading with only her undergarments on is a hobby of hers that no one else knew; nor could anyone comprehend why she would do it. She lied back up on the bed, and started reading a mystery novel, her favorite kinds of stories.

"Arrgh...I'm bored..." Raven complained. "Say...Ain't that Eliwood?" he asked the two other boys; he noticed Roy, as well.

"No, that's Roy. He's from a game called Fire Emblem: Sealed Sword. It's on my GBA, if you want to play it," Erk said, without looking away from the screen. Apparently, he was getting frustrated; he was getting beaten badly as Captain Falcon while Lucius was using Young Link. "Hmph. I seem to be losing. Now...wait..."

Captain Falcon stood at the edge of Termina Bay. He saw Young Link rushing at him. He was in a very weakened state; one dashing attack would send him flying. He waited for the very last second...

"HARA-KIRI!" Erk yelled, surprising Lucius, who left Young Link rush towards Falcon without attacking. Falcon turned away from YL, and jumped off the edge. Then, 'Falcon Kick' could be heard coming out of the TV speakers as Falcon dived into the water, and the TV went, "A WINNER IS...YOUNG LINK!"

Lucius's eyebrows twitched. "AARRGGHH! WHY DO YOU MOCK ME SO?"

"Win or lose, I ALWAYS get the last laugh," Erk said happily, cackling at Lucius.

"Honey, I'm home!" a woman's voice yelled loudly from the location of the front door.

Pent went rushing to greet his wife, but stopped short when he saw that she has her friends over. Louise's friends rolled on the floor laughing after seeing Pent in his wife's apron. 'From ridicule, there is no escape...' Pent thought miserably.

**

* * *

Later that night:**

"Kids, dinner!" Louise yelled from the kitchen, taking out a roast chicken out of the oven. Pent took out some baked potatoes from the oven as well, and put them on the table along with the chicken. Pent then grabbed some juice and pop and put them on the table as well. Soon, everyone but Lute and Serra were seated.

"Well, we need to get the other 2 girls down here..." Pent commented.

"Serra...I think it's best if we leave her alone. I'll go get Lute," Erk said, getting up from the dinner table.

Erk walked up the stairs and to Lute's guest room, and knocked on the door. "Lute? Lute? It's dinner time..." he called to the other magician. There was no reply, however; not even a single sound was made. "Lute?" he called again. Still no reply. "Hello? You in there?" Erk asked, but again, there was no reply. 'Is she in the washroom?' he thought, and went to check the washrooms. However, he found out that they were all empty. "Something's wrong..." he muttered.

He tried calling her again. "Lute? LUTE? LUTE?" Still no reply. "Damn it, Lute, this isn't funny!" he tried to turn the doorknob, but it was locked. 'She wouldn't lock herself out of her own room...She's still inside, but...' Erk thought, but then shook his head, afraid of the possibilities of what could have happened. Erk thought hard, and then thanked Elimine; Lute's room was one of the few that had the weaker locks; he could easily break in with a toothpick. He took the one he had in his mouth, and shoved it in the hole on the doorknob. He pushed it in, and turned the knob; it opened easily. He shoved the door open.

There she was, nearly naked and on her bed, her back laid down. Erk blushed madly; she looked hot when she's asleep like this. 'Wait...Is she asleep?' he thought, as he turned around to leave. He looked at Lute again, but saw that her chest isn't moving. 'Shit...' he thought, moving closer to her. He put his head in front of her face; no breathing. He put it on her heart after that; the beating was slow and faint. 'Not again...' he thought, quickly searching her room for a 'restore' medicine.

Lute has a disease called 'stone', which can be fatal. Time to time, she'll just become incredibly weak and feel very fatigued all of a sudden; her breathing will be very slow and her heartbeat will also be significantly weaker and slower. If left alone for too long in this state, she could die. That's why she should always have her medicine in her pocket in case this happens. However, Lute didn't have it anywhere near her.

Erk cursed. 'Where the hell is it?' he thought; he was, so far, unsuccessful in finding the medicine. He looked behind Lute's books and inside her bags, throwing her clothes and...other stuff this way and that. He sighed, not being able to find it. 'Why did she even bring condoms?'

He then spotted a familiar glass bottle on the ground beside Lute. Apparently, Lute had tried to get it, but she fainted before she could take the medicine. It lay on the ground with half of its pills spilled. He quickly grabbed a couple and opened Lute's mouth. Then he forcibly shoved the pills into her mouth. Then, he went to the washroom, and got some tap water in a cup, and forced the pills inside Lute by filling her mouth up with water. Lute choked, and then became silent again. However, Erk could see her chest moving again and could feel her breathe. Erk sighed in relief. Now, to get Louise to give her some medication; luckily, he did this before already at school a couple of times, because this wasn't the first time Lute was given the medicine after she fainted.

Serra could hear some grunting and bumping outside, and decided to check it out.

Erk thought, 'Damn, she doesn't look it at all, but she's heavy!' as he tried to carry her downstairs, hugging her on her belly while letting her feet drag on the ground. He then started dragging her out of the room.

"OH MY GOD! ERK! LUTE!" Serra yelped as she saw Erk holding Lute; it looked like Erk was doing something indecent to Lute's limp and seemingly dead body. "YOU SICK NECROPHILE!"

"Serra! It's...It's not what it looks like!"

"What's going on up...oh dear..." Pent stopped short as he saw Erk. "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

"Nothing! Just help me carry her downstairs and I'll explain everything!"

**

* * *

R&R!**

* * *

I don't know why, but Pent seems to be so bashable... 

Preview for next chapter:

Meet The Parents:

Nergal: WHY IS THERE A CONDOM ON MY COUCH?

Ninis: NILS!

Nils:... Run Myrrh! They're onto us!

Eliwood: ...(whispers to Ninian) Is this normal?

Ninian: (sweatdrops) ...Yes.

Elsewhere...

Nino: My big brothers are coming home this weekend! Yayness!


	4. PreProm Night High Jinks

Disclaimer: I don't own FE and whatever. Ephraim is a pimpin' kickass lord.

**

* * *

UNIVERSITY OF ETRURIA**

**

* * *

Chapter 4: Pre-Prom Night High Jinks **

**

* * *

Eliwood's and Ephraim's place:**

"Dude," Ephraim said.

"Duuuuuude," Innes said, nodding.

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude," Eliwood said, nodding.

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude," Hector said, nodding.

All four were getting rather high on some joints. After school that day, Joshua had given them some marijuana for them to try. So, since Eirika won't be coming home that day as she'll be staying over at Tana's and Innes's, the four boys all went to Eli's for a good smoke.

"Like, fingers, man," Eliwood said, holding up his hands in front of him. "I never realized they were, like, so huge and visible..."

"I know what you mean man," Ephraim agreed. "But dude, look at all the colors! It's like a 70's disco here, man!"

"DUUUUUUUUDE," all four of them said, sighing, and sank deeper into Ephraim's couch.

**

* * *

Tana's and Innes's place:**

"...I don't believe this," Tana complained, "ARGH! I'M SHORT ON GOOD CLOTHES FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!" She threw up her hands, frustrated that she couldn't find a good dress for the prom, which was in 2 days, right after the weekend is over. She chucked another dress which she was holding, a rather revealing black gown, into a rather large pile of clothes behind her. Her friends Eirika, Lyn, and Karla just sat on her bed looking speechless.

"Why not that one? I bet my brother would go gaga over you if you wore that..." Eirika asked the other girl.

"..." Tana was speechless, and she blushed. However, she quickly recovered by saying, "Shut up."

**

* * *

To The Bowling Alley:**

On Sakura street, Guy, Heath, Joshua, Karel, and Wil were walking towards the new bowling and billiards center: The Bowling Alley. The five decided to go there since there was nothing else to do (their feet hurt too much from all that DDR), and because they were really bored. Luckily, the place was only five blocks away from Karel's and Guy's house on Elm Street, so it wasn't too painful for them.

Heath was calling Priscilla again; however, he had no luck whatsoever. Apparently she was busy. Doing what, he didn't know. He was then surprised when Wil slapped him on the back.

"So who's the lucky girl?" Wil asked the wild haired youth with a large grin on his face.

"...None of your business," Heath replied, "Say, who're you taking to the prom?"

"Well, um...Actually, I was just going to go screw around and probably get someone who doesn't have a date to dance with me," Wil said, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm not really the one who thinks things through for anything that happens in more than a day. However, my sights are locked on...hm...Fiora."

"Suuure. And if it's Fiora you're targeting, you don't have a chance," Heath said while shaking his head with a small smile on his face.

"Dude," Joshua said as he stopped everyone. "Did...did Heath just...smile?"

"Dude," Wil replied, "dear Elimine, you're right!"

"...Wanna continue walking now?" Karel asked the others, as he was somehow already half a block away from them.

As Guy, Wil, Joshua, and Heath caught up to Karel, Wil asked the older Sacaean, "So how was your prom, Karel?"

"Ahh...Good times, man, good times. Had the hangovers of all hangovers, the greatest love-making session of all love-making sessions, best dance of all dances, you get the idea," Karel said, smiling with watery eyes as he was fondly going through his memories of his prom not too long ago. "The best thing about it was that right after I woke up the next day, I found myself on my bed with two really hot chicks who I didn't even know. And later they told me that they were my secret admirers. I was drunk, too, so I don't even know how I remembered that the sex was good."

**

* * *

Eli's place:**

RIIING!

"Whoa dude, there's like, something in my ears," Hector said in a very relaxed voice.

"Dude, I think it's the phone," Ephraim commented. "Anyone wanna get it?"

"No way dude," Innes replied, "this is too good to be interrupted."

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't know that your sister is soooo hot..."

"You bastard...I'd kill you right now, but I'm too stoned to move, dude..."

"I know...yeah, shake it!"

Eliwood stood up and walked veeerry slowly towards the telephone in fear of bumping into furniture in his stoned state. As he reached the table the telephone was on, he realized that there were three phones in front of him and that the sound was coming from behind him. So he turned around because he thought that his eyes were playing a trick on him. However, he saw no phones, so he turned around again towards the...four phones? Eliwood mumbled, "Eenie, meenie, miny, moe..." and attempted to grab one. He was successful, but the only problem was to press the call button.

Eliwood felt around the surface of the phone and finally managed to locate the call button.

"Yo, Eliwood here. Wassup?" he said into the phone.

"Eliwood, it's Ninian. Are you all right? You sound...weird," a girl's voice said from the phone.

"Oh yeah, yeah, I'm okay," Eliwood said as he snapped back to reality at hearing Ninian's voice. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to ask...um..." Ninian hesitated. On the other side Eliwood could faintly make out Nils and Myrrh saying something like 'Do it.' However, in his state of high-ness, it was almost impossible to be certain. "Um..." Ninian stammered, "Do you...do you have a date for prom night yet?"

"Oh! Uh...no. You wanna go with me?"

"Yeah! Really?"

"Yeah! Great! See you at 6 on Monday!" Eliwood said, "See ya then!" And he hung up the phone.

On the other side, Ninian was smiling broadly. However, that smile soon turned to a look of rage when Nils and Myrrh started harassing her about the call. And soon, we can find Nils and Myrrh outside, apologizing to Ninian profusely and banging the front door, begging the older girl to let them in. However, they were laughing their butts off while doing so, and therefore, didn't get inside until a half hour later.

**

* * *

The Bowling Alley:**

"...That's not cool," Wil complained. This is the fifth time he made a gutter ball. Usually, he's very good at bowling, but this time, things aren't going to well. He couldn't concentrate, and his judgment of the power needed and shot angle was very bad. "What's wrong with me..." he muttered to himself.

"Probably...because your Rebecca sense is tingling?" Guy piped up.

"Shut up."

"Well, she and her friends have just arrived...and are signing up. Looks like they're coming towards us, too."

"...Rebecca sense?" Karel asked Heath.

"It's something that Wil has. See that green haired girl with the bandana? That's Rebecca. We all think that Wil has a crush on her, and whenever she's around, he's all klutzy like he is now," Heath explained. "But poor guy's got no chance. I've heard from Farina, she's the blue haired one, that Rebecca likes Raymond, someone else who's in Reglay with her sister right now for vacation."

"Wait, that's Dan's sister..." Karel muttered.

"You know Dan?"

"Dude, he's my roommate! He has pictures of her and her friends all over his side of the room. And that blue haired girl's in most of them too," Karel remembered. "She's...Farina, right? Well, it looks like I've got something to piss him off with when I get back to the dorms."

"Hi guys!" Rebecca cheerily greeted the boys. She was with Farina, Farina's older sister Fiora, Amelia, and another girl the boys didn't know. "Hi Wil!" Rebecca called as Wil tried to throw another ball. Upon hearing her voice, Wil stopped his throw, making the ball somehow slip off his fingers and land on his toes.

"Hi...Rebecca," Wil greeted her back as he tried to keep his cool. When Rebecca turned to talk to her friends, he began massaging his toes.

For the rest of the game, Wil did worse and worse. He found himself looking over the next alley to stare at Rebecca (surprise, surprise) and the unknown girl, as well (to his surprise). Karel poked Wil when he was staring at the girls and the brunette jumped and yelped. However, after that, Wil resumed his previous activity.

Rebecca was wearing her old light green bandana that Dan gave her when she was little as a birthday present; when Wil moved into the house beside hers 10 years ago, he never saw her without it. However, it still looked brand new, except for a few tears here and there. Wil smiled when he saw that she wearing the brown leather jacket he gave her for her most recent birthday. Rebecca also wore a bracelet on her right hand and a watch on her left, and both are coated with gold. His sharp eyes noted the finely carved patterns on the watch that indicate it as a 'Latona' brand watch. Under the jacket, she wore a pink tank top and normal jeans, as well as a pair of black boots.

The unknown girl is apparently a Goth, basically a person who dresses with clothes that resemble old Grado druid clothing; it was very obvious by her style of clothing and her pale skinned face, as well as the accessories she had. Her clothes are, first of all, all colored black. She wore a jacket with flower patterned sleves; under those sleeves, Wil could make out a bracelet with a skull on it as well as rings on each of her fingers on her right hand. She wore a short black skirt and a pair of stockings, frilled at the top, as well as a pair of black leather boots with high heels. She wrapped a black strip of silk cloth around her neck; it was tied at the back of her neck, and she attached a cross on the side where the front of her neck is. She had long and rather frilly black hair, which was braided by a red strip of cloth to make a ponytail. However, her most distinguishing features were her pair of yellow eyes, which looked like they glowed and got Wil's attention.

"...Wil? Wiiiillll...WIL!" Guy called to the brunette, but since he didn't respond, the green haired Sacaean yelled into Wil's ear.

"GWAH! Yeah! Okay! What?" Wil yelped and jumped out of his chair.

"Your turn, man."

"Oh...okay..."

"Ten bucks says it's another gutter ball," Joshua whispered to Heath in the background.

"You're on," Heath replied.

After they were finished, Heath was fifty dollars poorer than he was when he arrived, and Joshua was fifty dollars richer. Poor Wil was looking dead tired and somewhat traumatized.

"Well, go ask her now, dude," Guy slapped the brunette on the back and walked with him towards the girls.

"Uh...Er...Reb...Rebecca?" Wil slowly said her name. Rebecca turned towards him and smiled.

"What's up, Wil?" she replied.

"Um...I just want to ask...will you go to the prom with me?"

There was an awkward silence after he asked that question. None of the girls, not even Amelia, said anything. Guy and Wil were waiting in anticipation for her positive reply, and Joshua was fiddling the five ten dollar bills he had in his pockets.

"Um...I'm sorry, Wil, Raymond already asked me, so I can't," Rebecca told the brunette.

"Oh...Um...It's all right then," Wil replied, looking very disappointed. "Well, see ya."

"Fork it over," Joshua said, holding his hand out to Heath. In the end, he was a hundred bucks richer and Heath was poorer by the same amount. "Lady Luck is with me today for once..."

**

* * *

Reglay:**

"Thank you for having us here for these few days, Mr. Pent," Priscilla said to the silver haired governor of Etruria while giving a bow.

"It was my pleasure," Pent lied. Erk's friends raised hell in his household for the last 4 days. And they're going to return in a week's time for the first half of the summer, too.

The incident with Lute left Serra, Erk, and Lute herself very quiet, and therefore, fortunately for Pent, didn't cause any trouble. Lucius and Raymond, however, screwed around the neighborhood, causing ruckuses in the local stores. Well, it was mostly Raymond; while Lucius was trying to keep his companion out of trouble, it apparently didn't do any good. Priscilla was on the phone most of the time, and it was a sort of a double edged sword for Pent. While she was on, the telemarketers couldn't call him, and neither could any government related people. On the other hand, he couldn't call his friends and the telephone bill would be significantly larger that it usually would be.

After Erk and his friends got on the plane to get back to their school for the prom, Pent went home and danced like it was the 70's in his happiness.

**

* * *

The Bowling Alley:**

"Hey, cheer up, Wil, you'll find another date," Joshua said, trying to lift his friend's spirits up. However, he's not doing very well, and neither are the other three boys with him. "Come on, suck it up. This happens all the time, and people get over little crushes like this."

"LITTLE CRUSH?" Wil said angrily, turning his face towards the redhead.

"Um...NO! Nonononono, nope not at all...I'll shut up now," Joshua said meekly and hid behind guy; Wil's face was one of homicidal rage and was apparently fearsome enough to scare Joshua.

"Uh, guys? That Goth chick is coming here," Guy said to the others. "Wait, she's leaving again...nope, she's coming here, nope, she's returning to her friends...What's up with her?"

"Whatever. Let's just go back home and eat. I'm starving," Karel suggested.

"Oh, that's right, we didn't eat breakfast today..." Guy commented. "What would you guys like?"

"Pizza?" Joshua suggested.

"Pizza sounds good," Heath agreed.

"With a little side dish of BLOOD," Karel muttered. 'Damn it, not again...' he thought.

**

* * *

The day of the Prom, Ninian's house:**

Ding-Dong!

Ninian bolted down the stairs to the front door, and almost slipped because she wasn't used to wearing high heels. Why was she wearing high heels? Well, it's prom night, and her date is none other than Eliwood, the captain of the soccer team himself. When she reached the door, she took a few deep breaths, and finally opened it to find Eliwood outside with a bouquet of Ilian white roses.

"Um...hi," Eliwood greeted her, and handed her the flowers. "Uh, I heard from your friends that you liked these, so, um, yeah..." Eliwood is no romantic talker; he prefers to let his actions speak instead of his mouth. Subtlety has never been something he had, thus the bouquet of flowers.

"Uh, come in, come in, please," Ninian offered. Eliwood entered and took off his loafers and left them on the doormat.

"Thank you."

"Um...I'll just be getting some drinks, okay?"

Eliwood walked further inside the house and entered the living room. Ninian's parents are apparently feng shui freaks; everything in the room was placed to make it look so. The only thing that was out of place was the TV. Eliwood went to sit on the couch and relaxed to wait for Ninian.

"ELI!" a boy's voice yelled happily as Eliwood was jumped by Nils from behind.

"GAH! Oh, hi Nils," Eliwood said, who was panting to recover from the shock. However, as he did, he put his hand down to rest it on the armrest of the couch. He found something very wet and squishy. Eliwood looked at it, and screamed in disgust like a little girl. "GAH!"

"Heeeeyyy, I've been looking for that," Nils told Eliwood, smiling as he said, "Thanks dude!"

"Why...is there...a condom...ON THE COUCH?"

"Me and Myrrh..."Nils began, but someone jumped out and interrupted.

"AHHA! CAUGHT YOU!" an old man with a golden left eye yelled as he jumped out of the kitchen and pointed at Nils. "Think you can deceive your old man, eh? Well, think again! For your punishment, Nils, go do the dishes! I'll think up the rest later..."

"Fuck you, dad," Nils said, crossing his arms.

"WHAT?"

"I said fuck you, dad!"

"Somebody is gonna get hurt reeeeeeaaaal bad. IM NOT GONNA SAY WHO. But I think you know him veeery welll..." the old man said; his tone was so that Eliwood was shaking his knees at the way he said it, yet Nils just shrugged it off as he went up to his room. Eliwood jumped when the old man greeted him. "Sooo...Who the hell are you?"

"Oh! Hello sir, I'm Eliwood, Ninian's date for the prom. You must be Mr. Nergal, correct?" Eliwood greeted the old man, extending his hand out slowly in fear for the old man to shake it.

"Ah! Dear Eli! Pleasure to meet you, boy! Have a seat, Ninian'll be down in a second, she's just making some drinks!"

"Sir?"

"Yes?"

"What's with the gold eye?"

"That's another story for another time..." Nergal said, looking evilly at Eliwood with great evil magnitude that the poor redhead's knees were almost shaking loud enough for Nergal to hear.

'My date's family is dysfunctional. Yay me...' Eliwood thought.

**

* * *

At school:**

"Ehhh...What's taking Lyn so long to show up?" Hector complained. Lyn was his date, and he's waiting at the school's front gates with Joshua, Wil, and Guy. "Geez, I should've gone to pick her up from Innes's place..."

"At least you got a date, dude, we're dateless," Wil complained, "Raven got to Rebecca first, Joshua's...Joshua, and Guy's too shy to ask anyone at all! This blows, big time!"

"Hey, I asked Marissa, but she said she's gone to do something back home in Jehanna..." Joshua told the others, but then stared with his mouth agape at something.

"Dude, what is it? You look spooked," Guy commented.

"I think I see angels..."

**

* * *

NEXT CHAPTER: THE BIG NIGHT**

Eliwood: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO...BLARGH!

Guy: Dude, how hard is it to spin upright on your head 2160 degrees and then landing perfectly on your feet? I mean, look at me! It's so simple!

Eliwood: I didn't have 10 years of breakdancing experience under my belt...BARF.

**

* * *

Next NEXT Chapter: GradoTrip **

**A bodyguard's day:**

Seth: Oh my God! You killed Marcus!

Dozla: You Bastard!

**A bodyguard's night:**

Oswin: Oh my God! You killed Marcus!

Rennac: You Bastard!

**Elsewhere:**

Ursula: Oh my God! You killed Marcus!

Jaffar: ... (You Bastard!...Wait a minute, HE STOLE OUR KILL! F'CKIN CAMPER!)

Sonia: Jaffar! Watch your language!

**Elsewhere:**

Ephraim: Dude, I can't believe you made out with your own sister!

Innes: You're one to talk!

**Grado Keep:**

Ike: Aiiyyaaaaaaaaa!

Lyon: Fobs are so fun to tease...

* * *

NOW R&R DAMMIT! 


	5. The Big Night

Disclaimer: I don't own FE and MC Hammer and whatever.

The Summer Saga will be lengthened a bit...OK, doubled, to 8 chapters, due to the appearance of Path of Radiance, and I really want to put in some of the characters in there because they are...interesting, and, thanks to the power of writing, they create plot holes.

This chapter will serve as an introduction chapter and give the Erk of this universe a back story.

The moral of today's story: Don't drink alcohol on your prom night. Alcohol is bad, mmkay, Sain?

Someone will get knocked up...but WHO?

* * *

**UNIVERSITY OF ETRURIA

* * *

**

**Chapter 5: THE BIG NIGHT

* * *

**

**On the way to school:**

'I'm glad I'm outa there,' Eliwood thought, 'one more second inside that house and I would've gone insane! Nergal should be in an insane asylum, Nils needs to get off the hormones, Ninis needs to see daylight for once, and Ninian's too embarrassed to say anything!'

**

* * *

AT SCHOOL:**

"HUBBA HUBBA! WOO WOO!" were the resounding cries of the many gentlemen at school as they greeted their dates, who were dressed as skimpily as possible while looking like professional dancers. However, one stern look and powerful kick from Lyn was enough to shut Hector up.

It was a lively night; everyone was very excited and can't wait for the dance. And the alcohol. And what happens after the alcohol. "...I want my beer," Karel commented as he and two other boys, one lanky and the other one with a muscular jock build, stood near the entrance of the school, waiting to be invited in by girls or for the right time to crash the party, whichever came first.

"You'll get it soon enough," the lanky one calmly said. His blonde hair and goatee glowed in the moonlight and his sideburns were clearly outlined by the light as well as he rested his left elbow on the roof of his Pegasus 440-A sedan. He wore a white striped navy blue blazer with a small white t-shirt underneath, and jeans to complete the prep look as well. "Linus, can you check on sis?"

"You call her," the jock replied, "I didn't bring my cellphone. And anyways, she'll be fine. That Ewan kid's coming over, right?"

"That's what you should be worried about," Karel pointed out. "From what one of Guy's friends told me, he's a pyromaniac. Who knows, you two could go home to find the Reed residence in ashes." The other two responded to this with a worried silence.

"Eh, she'll be fine..." Linus said as he stood up from his sitting position on Lloyd's car's hood. "OH! Lloyd, how 'bout those girls?" The lanky one, Lloyd, was about to answer, but Karel interrupted.

"That's my sister and her friends. Go near them, I kick your ass," Karel calmly said. Linus sat back down on Lloyd's car, disappointed.

"I came here for the girls, but you won't even let me have fun with any," Linus complained.

"Summer vacation's suddenly a blast, ain't it?"

"Shut up."

* * *

**Nearby:**

"COMONCOMONCOMON! WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!" Serra shrieked into Raven's ear as he tried to drive towards the school; Raven's SUV could be seen swerving left and right rapidly during pink-haired girl's outburst.

"If you keep screamin' in my ear, I'll throw you out the car and run you over!" Raven threatened.

"Now now, Raymond, let's be calm..." Lucius pleaded, clutching onto a car door fearfully for dear life as the van picked up speed and as he felt some lurching. Erk's skinny frame was thrown into the back of the van behind the back seat when he stood up to switch seats with Priscilla. Lute's head is in a barf bag, and Priscilla is rapidly jumbling through rosary beads muttering, "Save us Elimine, Save us Elimine..."

"SHUT UP!" Raven snapped, and looked back to yell at Lucius.

"CAR!" Serra shrieked. Raven looked forward again and turned just in time to keep from crashing into Eliwood's car, which honked at Raven for his stupidity. Erk was thrown again from the back onto the left, his leg knocking Lute's head out of her barf bag and into a window.

"MY WINDOW!" Raven shrieked in horror. "THAT SON OF A..."

Meanwhile, ravens flew away from a nearby telephone pole at Raven's angry cry.

"Guy, what are you doing?" Wil asked the Sacaean.

"Just stretching...getting ready for the ultimate DDR match of the season!" Guy replied excitedly. He flipped over in awe, however, as he saw Karla, Tana, Eirika, and the rest walk up the stairs towards the gym. "Ga...ga...goo?" Lyn waved the girls over while Hector waved his giant hand in front of Guy's face, trying to bring the stunned Sacaean back to life, but not being successful at all.

"Hi guys!" Karla greeted the boys, then looked at Guy. "Um...why is he..."

"He's just excited to see you all," Hector answered for her with a wide smile on his face. He could see Guy nodding a thank you from the corner of his eye. "Now that most of us are here, why don't we go inside? It's getting cold." He waved towards the inside of the school building with his great left hand.

"It's strange," Eirika noted, "that Hector's being such a gentleman today."

"SON OF A..." More ravens flew away as Raven's loud yell could be heard along with the screech of his car tires.

* * *

**A few minutes later, 8:30 when everybody's there...**

"A slow dance to start? Heath..." Guy complained to the current DJ, who was for some reason playing a slow dance song. "No one's gonna dance; we'll all look like idiots..."

"Uh huh," Heath absent-mindedly agreed without paying attention to what his friend just said. "Go to her..."

"What?"

"Go to her...zzzz..."

"Wake up man. Party's just started..." Guy said, shaking his friend to wake him up, but to no avail. "Ahem. Prisc is looking at you."

"I'm...I'm up! OK! NEXT SONG IS...CAN'T TOUCH THIS!"

* * *

**Outside...**

"Can't touch this...HAMMER TIME!" the three college boys sang to the loud noise blaring from inside the school building, enjoying themselves. However, Linus was a bit bothered that they haven't seen any chicks lately.

"Man, I'd like to meet this Devdon guy...He's such a genius!" Lloyd said. "I mean, this song is awesome! The nickname is awesome too! MC Hammer! Wow!"

"I hear he's from the continent of Tellius way down south. He graduated from some unknown music school there and moved to Jehanna a couple of years ago to start a couple of bands, and then started rapping in the underground," Karel said. "Many have dueled him, but few were victorious...he was known as "The Lyric Guru." Many have sought his advice, but few have even found him to ask him for it, as now, news is, he's gone..."

"Guys...How 'bout those?" Linus said, nudging Karel with his elbow. The Sacaean look towards where the jock was pointing to see 3 gorgeous females. One had medium length blonde hair, strangely dressed, wearing a lime green jacket with brown leather and golden ornaments on it, and undersized old and tattered jeans. Another wore a purple tank top despite the cold air, a few shades darker than her short hair, along with large golden earrings and articles of clothing similar to the first girl's below the belt. The last one...was his stepmother.

"...Are you frikkin retarded?" Lloyd smacked his brother's head. "That's Sonia, fool. And the other two are obviously her slutty friends."

"What's your mom doing here?" Karel asked Lloyd.

"I don't know. But I'm sure it's not good."

"Oh, hello boys," Sonia walked towards the three along with her two friends. Karel could notice that the two other women are significantly younger than Sonia, but less beautiful. They lack the distinctive aura of age and experience with men, and look about 7 years younger than Sonia anyways, probably only one two three years older than him. "What are you doing here?"

"Just hanging out," Linus answered.

"Well. I'd like you to meet Selena and Ursula," Sonia said, gesturing to the other two girls who timidly shook hands with Lloyd and Karel. "I'm going to do a little...shopping, and I'd like you boys to take care of these two girls for now so they don't get into...trouble. Could you? Thanks," she said, without even waiting from an answer from her sons as she walked off.

"O...kay?" Karel said. He turned around, saw something he didn't want to see, and walked away towards the school, leaving the other four behind. 'How did they move so quickly and HOW THE HELL DID I NOT HEAR THE CAR DOOR?' he thought.

* * *

**Inside again...**

BAM!

Karel kicked the door open. He went to one of the washrooms to change into a suit before entering the gym...with style. Almost everyone looked at him as he walked through the crowds; they could feel his aura of 'coolness', for lack of a better term, and created a way for him to pass through. Karel headed for his sister, who was sitting on a chair and drinking fruit punch.

"You don't look like you're having fun," he commented.

"I can't find Guy," she replied. "Or anyone else," she quickly added. "Well, everyone's actually off dancing with their dates, and it's hard to tell who actually has a date and who doesn't now."

"Guy...he'll be around the DDR machines. Now get your butt over there before the slow dance starts."

"I don't know..."

Karel took her by the arm and dragged her to where he knew the younger Sacaean was going to be. As he predicted, Guy was on the machine against another player, Wil this time, and Guy was almost laughing his butt off because Wil was sucking so badly. Karel noted that Rebecca and Raven are dancing nearby, and understood why. He walked towards the machines, dragging Karla along with him.

"This is fun," Lyn said while she laughed. She was laughing at Hector's dancing abilities; the big lug was crashing into everything and demolishing everything in his vicinity. Everyone nearby moved away from the couple; the only ones brave enough to stay nearby were Eliwood and Ninian.

"Oh, shut up," Hector grumbled. "Just wait 'til we can breakdance..."

"In that suit?"

"...Oh, shut up."

* * *

**Outside, the smoking pit...**

Erk sighed. He's going to miss this place. All the cigs he burned...the twigs...papers...plush toys...practically anything combustible and inflammable...This was one of his favorite places to hang out. He walked around it, putting his hands on the wall and sliding along, walking, but going nowhere as he circled around the small area just beside the student parking lot. He stopped when his hands touched a familiar mark.

He turned to look at it. It was a heart that was literally burned into the stone with his fire magic; inside were the letters E and I. The E was his and the I was for another girl who moved away to the Isolated Continent of Tellius. Her name is Ilyana. Their relationship ended after year one; she had to move because Elibe's environment was too polluted for her; he can remember her coughing a lot.

She was very skinny; she almost looks like she's anorexic. However, she almost ate as much as Hector did, and that's a bloody lot; Erk laughed when he thought about it. 'A shame,' he thought, 'my time with her was some of the best times of my life, no matter how much they ridiculed us.'

"I thought I'd find you here."

Erk turned around to the source sound to find Lute, surprisingly dressed with a glittering purple silk dress and transparent high heels. She wore the purple leather coat that she always wore when it's cold; Erk couldn't help blushing when he looked at her.

"Aren't you col...Never mind..." Lute stopped midway, and chuckled, almost forgetting that Erk is a master of fire.

"How can you forget?" Erk asked her, smiling. "Besides, aren't YOU cold? You should get back inside..."

"You're coming with me."

"...I still have some...reminiscing to do."

"You can look at Ilyiana's picture every day at home, but I'm going to need you to come to shut Serra up right now."

"Later," Erk said dismissively.

"No. Now," Lute pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

"Don't do that; it's not going to work. Only Prisc could do it and I don't know why."

"Now, seriously, come on," Lute said, "we were wondering where you went. They're all cracking jokes about you. You know that I know that you don't like people talking behind your back. That's the main reason I came to get you." Erk was silent. "Come on, Erk," she said, stepping closer to him. Erk still had his hand on the mark. She grabbed his arm and started pulling, which wasn't so hard since Erk was also incredibly skinny, and that he wasn't actually struggling.

"You're being strange tonight," she noted.

"...I don't have a date," Erk said. Lute paused in her dragging. "If she was still here, I wouldn't be alone tonight," he added quietly. "Just one dance was all I needed...one more kiss...one more...burning of something..."

"You sure know how to make something romantic." There was a great unmasked hint of sarcasm in Lute's voice that hid a tone of jealously.

"I know it's no use dwelling on the past..." he said quietly again, "but I can't help but feel that Elimine's abandoned me. Sure, I have great friends...Raymond, Lucius, Prisc, Ewan, Nino...Serra, even...everyone else...and you. But...I'm missing something. Something I don't think I'll ever find again. That joy...that feeling...of being together, ya know?"

"Deep."

"Your sarcasm hurts," Erk said, "but that's why you're a good friend. You're funny and you easily lift up our spirits." Lute resumed walking, and this time, Erk followed, but then stopped. "Wait," he said, and held onto the girl's hand. "Something I'd like to show you...before I leave it forever in Ewan's greedy little hands."

"...fine," Lute, who can't think up anything sarcastic for the moment, agreed and followed him.

They walked at a brisk pace through the hallways of the school until they came to Erk's old locker. Erk opened it, and pushed on the wall. Then he made some magic pattern on it with his finger; the wall of his locker turned into a white portal. He excitedly dragged the bewildered girl in along with him inside.

"This place," he started explaining, as he waved his hand around, "is a remnant of a magical dungeon. Which was what this school once was in the Dark Ages. The engineers couldn't find all the secret places and the mages couldn't either, and this was one of the few spots they missed." The place itself wasn't decorated much, but it had a sort of an elegant feel to it. The ceiling and walls glowed with magical light; the everlasting kind only the most powerful sages could create. There was a stone in the middle of the room; it was a bed, with a very soft mattress inside; from a front view, the stone looked like a heart. "I'm guessing this was a honeymoon spot. Remember how I kept disappearing during the first year? I was here...with her."

Erk walked towards the bed, and sat on it glumly, looking a bit dejected. Lute slowly walked. She was about to sit beside him on his left, paused, and continued, seeing that Erk made no move to say that she shouldn't or couldn't. She put her right hand on one of his hands, which was on the bed. Slowly, she crept closer. And closer. And closer.

"...Lute?...Will you..."

* * *

**Back inside...**

"I can't help but shake the feeling that I'm missing something..." Wil said.

"Maybe it's...a dance partner?" Heath asked him in an innocent tone. Wil angrily looked at him, and Heath said, "HA BURN!" like Fez from the 70's Show.

Meanwhile, Karel finally got his sister and Guy to dance. Of course, it required a certain amount of force, blackmail, and much unwanted attention from people looking at him, but at least he did it.

"Phew..." Guy panted, "You've a lot of endurance..."

"Well, I didn't dance non-stop for a couple of hours, so..."

Lucius walked around, holding a glass of punch in one hand, looking for a girl that's free so he can dance with her. Suddenly...someone pinched his butt. He turned around angrily.

"I'm sorry, miss, but I can't help but notice how shapely it is," the person who pinched him said.

"And you didn't notice that I'm wearing a suit unlike the actual females?" Lucius replied coldly.

"You mean..."

"I'm a guy, you idiot," Lucius said, and walked away. He smirked when he heard the many 'eewww's coming from the guy.

Karel looked around. He's enjoying his time here; he likes to show off his experience and knowledge of college life to the younger ones, and playing matchmaker is always a fun side activity. He was wondering about what his two buddies are doing outside, when he spotted the Goth girl he saw at the Bowling Alley. He grinned, and forcefully dragged Wil to her.

"What's the big idea?" Wil asked the older boy, half flailing in his confusion. "I was starting to get the hang of the game!"

"No you're not, and it's pathetic," Karel said. "We're going to get you a girl. Before you say anything stupid, let me give you a word of advice; Goths are angsty and love acting depressed, so don't try to cheer them up."

"What does that have to do...Oh no, not her man, DON'T DO IT..BLARGH!" Wil yelped as Karel threw him towards the Goth girl with amazing force.

"I'm evil. Sue me," Karel said mischievously as he walked away to view the results of his handiwork from a safe distance. You never know when those Goths might...just take a cross from out of nowhere and stab herself with it or something, or stab other people.

"Hey!" the Goth girl yelped. "What's the big idea?"

"Oh! Um...I'm...I'm sorry! PLEASE DON'T CRUCIFY ME!" Wil said as he curled up into THE FETAL POSITION OF FEAR.

"...Crucify? I'm not going to crucify you..."

"You're not going to?" Wil looked up, relieved, and dusted himself. "I mean, um...I'm sorry for bumping into you, my friend just threw me here for no apparent reason." Wil looked over her. She looked absolutely stunning tonight; her usual neck band and hair band were still there, but now she wore a dress, silk, just like almost every other girl in the prom, and as usual, black. She wore, like almost every other girl there, high heels, and predictably, black as well. She wore leather gloves, also black, with a silver bracelet on her left hand. Wil's eye was caught by the mesmerizing yellow glow of her eyes, however, and couldn't hear her calling to him.

"Um...Wil? Wiiiillll? Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Oh...I'm...I'm sorry...NO I WASN'T STARING AT YOU PLEASE DON'T STAB ME!" Wil curled into the FPOS again.

The girl was slightly surprised, but smiled a bit. She offered her hand. Wil took it, and she pulled him back up.

"I'm um...How do I say this...Can...Will...Wil...Will you dance with me for the slow dance, Wil?" she asked him timidly.

Wil is in a state of shock and curled into the FETAL POSITION OF SHOCK. Karel, who was watching and listening nearby, shook his head in embarrassment for Wil. However, the girl just laughed and pulled Wil back up again.

"Thanks," Wil said, and asked her, "What's your name?"

"It's Limstella."

'Now we're getting somewhere,' Karel thought. He turned around to check on Guy and Karla, who were actually enjoying themselves. Guy was breakdancing to the delight of everyone. Hector was trying to do his best in his tuxedo, but ended up making a fool of himself. 'Wow, his luck is going to run out pretty soon,' Karel thought. 'Guy isn't exactly the best fitting tampon in the package...'

"LOOK OVA HERE, LADIES!"

Karel looked towards the source of the sound. Some idiot apparently had too much testosterone in their blood, or just too much alcohol, by the sound of the person's voice. Karel followed the direction many people's eyes were facing to find Sain without clothes, but with something...a bottle...which had a very familiar look to it in his right hand. Karel saw the symbol of a rainbow colored spear, and slapped his forehead. 'A Vidofnir 50 percent? No wonder; he's frikkin' drunk!' Karel thought. 'I KNEW I shouldn't have let him smuggle those in...But...this is interesting...OOF! OW! OUCH! That's not supposed to go there! Poor guy...'

Lyn walked away from a ball of flesh that was once the mighty Sain, who then laid down into a human star on the floor, dazed and drunk. And still naked. Kent and Lowen gingerly picked their friend up and carried him to the infirmary. Fiora and Farina, who had smuggled their sister in under a large jacket, immediately stuffed Florina inside again, but not before the orchid haired girl took a peek and fainted.

'Oh my,' Karel thought. 'I'm glad I came. Too bad Lloyd and Linus are missing this. Kodak moments just come one by one rapidly with this crew of weirdos.'

* * *

**1 hour later:**

"OH MY GAWD! ERK!" Serra shrieked when he saw Erk come out from his locker, looking disheveled, with clothes in the wrong places and such. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Oh...Serra! Um...nothing!" Erk said casually, although it was obvious that he was trying to cover something up. He pushed his hand back inside his locker as if trying to keep something inside.

"Erk, your pants are unzipped," Serra told him.

"Er...well, what do ya know..." Erk said, embarrassed, and used his free hand to zip his pants up, with great difficulty.

"Well, whatever, I'll go see you later. Can I expect a dance from you?"

"I don't know..."

"Well, you're going to give me one! Toodles!"

"Scheiza..."

After Serra was finally gone, Erk took his hand away, and an equally disheveled-looking Lute came out. "What the hell was that for?" Lute asked him.

"Do you want her to see us like this? The bitching will never end!"

Priscilla, however, saw this, and excited, she walked towards the pair and asked them, straight to the point, "So, how does it feel...to...um...lose your virginity?"

A loud shriek of terror could be heard from the hallway. It sounded like the person forgot something. And it was louder than Serra's. It was followed by, "IF I GET KNOCKED UP, I'LL BURN YOU ALIVE!"

* * *

**Finally, time for the slow dance:**

People aren't doing very well, because absolutely none of the students knew how to waltz properly; 'ouch'es and 'ow's and 'SON OF A ...'s were heard all through out the gym, and they were all caused by one reason alone: crushed toes. Poor Lyn's expensive high heels now looked like it was torn apart by a dragon after being stepped on by Hector's massive feet. The only ones who could actually dance were Eirika, Innes, Ephraim, Tana, Eliwood, and Ninian (with Eliwood's guidance and mad dancing skillz).

The Renais twins and Frelian siblings were in the center of the dance; they were the best dancers. Well, it was mostly just Epraim and Innes competing on who would dance better than the other. The girls, however, instead of having crushed toes, were dying of cramps. The boys were way too good, and they were having an incredibly painful time trying to keep up and not make their partner look stupid.

"Eliwood...after this dance...Will you come with me? I'd like to show you something," Ninian said, breathing heavily. She had a really hard time keeping up with him even though Eliwood was trying his best to not do such complicated moves. Ninian can ballet, tango, breakdance, you name it, but she just...can't...waltz.

"What is it that you want to show me?"

"It's a surprise," Ninian managed a smile, but her face was red with embarrassment of some sort. She obviously was keeping something. Something big.

* * *

**After it was over...**

"Aww man, it's over?" Guy complained.

"You were hoping that the thing would end all throughout the event," Karel said.

"Well, while dancing with your sister, we talked, and...well, got to know each other a little bit better. You know what?"

"What?"

"After the third to last slow dance song was finished, she dragged me into the girl's washroom and we made out!"

WHAM!

"Karla, why did you do that..." Guy asked her as he was rapidly kicking the air while clutching his crotch.

"You're not supposed to tell random people about these things. That's one way to keep a good relationship. Well, at least the guy shouldn't. Especially not in front of the girl," Karel told the green-haired Sacaean.

* * *

**Dawn next morning:**

"Thanks for coming, Eliwood," Ninian sleepily said good bye as Eliwood got in his car and drove off. Both looked equally disheveled; her usually straight and flowing long hair looked like a bird's nest.

"Sis, your room smells," Nils told her. "What were you two doing last night...Mayonaise on the bed? OOH! Eating in the room...mom's gonna bitch," Nils went to get some on his finger and was going to lick it

"NO DON'T EAT THAT!" Ninian told him, but it was too late. "THAT'S NOT MAYO!"

* * *

**A few hours later:**

"...I think...you may be pregnant," the doctor said to Ninian. "Congratulations!"

"Y...Yay..." Eliwood and Ninian said weakly as they looked at each other. Nergal coldly stared at Eliwood, who then, uneasily, crouched into a fetal position of UTMOST PH34R.

"...You're not pregnant, miss," the doctor said to Lute. "I'm sorry."

"ARE YOU KIDDING? THIS IS AWESOME!" she yelld at his face while shaking him by his collar. Then he kissed Erk passionately and left along with him.

* * *

**NEXT EPISODE:**

Innes: The ultimate CS tournament...the greatest test of first-person-shooting game skills...The grand prize...fifty thousand gold for everyone...

Ephraim: It is...our turn to shine. Let's go, Z team!

Marcus, Seth, Dozla, Rennac, Oswin, Eliwood, Innes, Joshua, and Hector: FOR THE MOTHERLAND!

Caellach: ...we gotta play against these jokers?

Jaffar: ...

Eliwood: Did someone just kill Marcus?

Jaffar: ... (BOOM! HEADSHOT!)

Eliwood: No, no, I mean, IRL. He's like...all bloody around the head and stuff...

Jaffar: (points at Orson)...(...BOOM! HEADSHOT!)

* * *

Ike: STURIIKOOOOO!

Eirika: How can you stand this anime fanboy?

Elincia: Because...I...is...one...too.

Lyon: BEWARE THE FOB!

* * *

Roy's gonna be added to the cast soon...

* * *

**R&R!**


End file.
